The Wisdom to Know the Difference
by Cambryn
Summary: Remus is described as a solitary man by many, and it is a very apt description. This is an exploration of the man's past, when he was only a solitary boy.
1. Chapter 1: A most wonderful gift

I will only say this once. I see little need in having a disclaimer for each chapter. This one applies for all future and past chapters of this story. Harry Potter, (and all related themes, ideas, characters and other miscellaneous things pertaining to Harry Potter) are not owned by me. They belong to J.K. Rowling, her publishers, and Warner Brothers. Some of this is originally mine, so know that as well.

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God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference

- Reinhold Niebuhr

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The Wisdom to Know the Difference

Chapter One: A most wonderful gift

The wind brought with it an unusually chilling bite, tossing leaves about in a reckless fashion, inciting a feeling of restless excitement in many a small child. The sharp wind whistled violently through the trees, causing their boughs to creak and moan as their branches swayed almost lazily due to their over grown size.

Remus gazed merrily at the trees' swaying as he beat a giddy tattoo on his leg. He was not a boy typically inclined to bouts of hyperactivity. Of course he would run about with the energy that any small boy does, but his nature tended to be more docile than most boys his age. His mother's friends always would comment on what a quiet and well behaved lad he was, and his parents often told him how lucky they were that they had a perfect child.

But today Remus was entitled to be excited. Today his father was coming back home from his two-weeklong trip in Ireland. With his father being an undersecretary in the Department of International Cooperation, it entailed an obscene amount of time travelling. Though he hated his father's frequent absences, his father's returns were almost worth it.

He and his mother would excitedly putter abound the house, cleaning and making sure everything was perfect for John's arrival. His mother did most of the cleaning, as he was only six, but she would always choose what seemed to be very important tasks for him to do. Things like fetching eggs from the hen house or stirring the contents of a bowl were among the most coveted of tasks she gave him.

As usual, on the day of his father's arrival, his mother was making a veritable feast with numerous pots and pans sizzling on the stove and a delicious smell wafting out of the oven. Her sandy hair, which she never seemed able to keep up, fell in its usual disarray of locks at her neck, while her pale eyes, with their perpetually calm look contrasted their manic energy as they darted about from task to task.

Remus liked to watch his mother's nervous behaviour on these days. Sitting at the bottom stair, he watched as she flitted between her confections, glancing at the clock every other second. He found it amusing when she grabbed a ladle and began to critically examine her reflection in it.

'Mum?'

'AH!' his mother cried, dropping the ladle in shock. 'Oh! Remus… Don't sneak up on me like that. You know how… skittish I am on these days.'

'What time is dad getting here? I'm really getting hungry…' Remus said with a little more of a forlorn tone than was necessary. He pouted his lip and raised his eyes in the most pitifully adorable look he could manage, which was something to behold. As good as this face was at melting the hearts of adults, his mother seemed to be immune.

'As pathetically hungry as you appear, you're just going to have to wait until your father gets here,' she said wryly as he stared at her pleadingly. After a few seconds of staring at each other, Remus gave in.

'Fine,' he smiled before scuttling up onto one of the kitchen table's chairs. He restlessly swung his legs as he noted his mother once again checking her reflection, only this time using the side of the simmering pot to judiciously start slicking her sandy hairs in place.

'You look _fine_, Mum,' Remus said with a small roll of his eyes. She quickly stood up straight, a small blush tingeing her cheeks.

'You think so? Don't think your mum's hair resembles a trampled hedge?' she asked as she tried to unobtrusively examine her reflection in the window.

'I dunno. _I_ like it,' he said as his feet began to rhythmically kick his chair's legs.

'Well, then it must be up to snuff,' she smiled warmly at him, leaning onto the kitchen counter. 'Any ideas on what your father's bringing you from Ireland?'

At the mention of this, Remus' face suddenly lit up. Whenever his father came back from one of his foreign destinations he always brought the most wonderful gifts. His eyes went to the ceiling and his tongue poked out of his mouth as he tried to concentrate.

'Hmm… What do they have in Ireland? I don't want four-leaf clovers. Maybe a pot of gold.'

'Or perhaps a potato,' his mother smirked.

'Or, maybe a leprechaun! I've always wanted to see one of those!' he stated enthusiastically.

'Or maybe a sheep.'

'Or maybe a kelpie!'

'Or maybe a hat.'

'Or maybe a… Maybe a _dragon!_' Remus said, a look of pure bliss settling over his face. He and his mother had made it a habit to play this guessing game. It usually ended with him imagining some extraordinary animal being his pet.

'Well, I certainly can't beat that,' she smiled at the contented look on her daydreaming son's face.

'You were both wrong on all counts, I'm afraid,' said a low, cheerful voice.

'Dad!' Remus yelled, jolting from the chair and into his father's waiting arms.

'There's my boy,' he smiled as he lifted his son in the air. 'Uh! I think you've grown while I was away. What have you been feeding him, Linda?' John asked before giving his wife a kiss.

'And here's my beautiful wife. You're a vision,' he stated, regarding her warmly.

Though Remus couldn't disagree that his mother was quite pretty, he made a large sound of disapproval to let them know this sort of behaviour was not to be tolerated.

'Right, none of that nonsense here!' John said with a click of his heels.

'Can't go burning our child's retinas with something as vulgar as affection!' Linda laughed, putting a hand on Remus' head. 'You know, I'm afraid you're right about him growing. I must've fed him too much in your absence. He's practically your size, John!'

'Well, I _am_ six,' Remus explained with a proud smile, standing very upright.

'Very adult, indeed, but I hope you haven't grown so that you can't enjoy your gift,' John grinned as Remus' eyes lit up with excitement.

'What is it? It's not clothes, is it?' Remus asked cautiously, almost comically contorting his face into a grimace of barely hidden disgust.

'Of course it's not. I'd never bring something so boring,' he replied with an amused look, letting the moment of anticipation lengthen. Remus had long ago found that his father was far more vulnerable to his wide-eyed look than his mother and soon executed it with fervour.

'Well, I can't deny _that_ face.'

'_I _could,' Linda said a bit proudly as Remus gave her an unconvincing look of irritation.

'What can I say. You have the obduracy of a bear,' John teased in return.

'Dad…' Remus said, knowing that if he didn't act soon they'd be so caught up in each other he'd _never _find out what his gift was.

'Alright. There's no escaping you. Your gift is out under your tree.'

With those words said Remus bolted out the door as fast as his small legs could carry him. Under the large tree in the yard was a tan Shetland pony nibbling at a patch of grass, its long mane twirling in the wind.

'Is it really mine?' Remus asked, hardly daring to believe it true.

'Yes he is,' his father smiled from the doorway.

Remus made to go ride it, but not before his mother stopped him long enough to put on his jacket and scarf and had prompted him to say thank you to his father.

'Does he have a name yet? All fiery steeds need a good strong name,' Linda said as Remus was hoisted onto the saddle.

'He's nameless as far as I know. I suppose _you'll_ have to name him, Remus. Any ideas?'

Remus' face scrunched up in concentration before he answered.

'This is something really important. I need to think about it for a while. Can you help me later tonight? We can look in the library!' Remus declared as his parents watched him delightedly riding the small horse around the tree, a broad grin stretching across his face.

'Oh! Dinner!' Linda cried before frantically running to the kitchen, her once in place hair falling into disarray.

'Remus, you can ride the horse a bit later. It's time to eat,' his father said lifting his son off the saddle. 'I'll show you how to de-saddle him after dinner.'

'Just a few more minutes?' Remus asked in vain as his stomach let out a large growl.

'I think your stomach would rather eat now. The horse will be here in the morning and you can ride it all you want, then.'

'Fine,' he sighed, petting the horses' nuzzle and smiling fondly at it. 'We'll have so much fun together tomorrow! I have to go eat, but you'll probably have a good name by tomorrow. It won't be anything bad, I promise.'

'Remus, come on in now,' he heard his mother calling from the kitchen.

'Coming! Goodnight,' he said giving the horse a quick hug around the neck before running back into the house.

Author's note:

Reviews are greatly appreciated, so if you find that there is something about this story you'd like to comment on or some general things you'd like to discuss with me, review.


	2. Chapter 2: Names and Darkened Hallways

_God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference._

- Reinhold Niebuhr

**The Wisdom to Know the Difference **

**Chapter Two: Names and Darkened hallways**

Remus stared hard at the text, trying to decipher just how to pronounce the name in front of him. He creased his brows in concentration, glancing every moment or so to his parents, knowing full well they would be able to read it to him in an instant, saving him all this trouble. What kind of baby was he if he had to ask his parents to read it for him? All the same, he still had a burning desire to know. His stare at the text quickly became a hard-set glare at his predicament.

'Do you need any help, Remus?' his mother asked from across the room.

'No,' he grumbled moodily. He relentlessly glowered at the page for a good minute before his contemplations over just how to say that word were interrupted by the sound of the hallway clock's chiming.

'It's seven thirty. Time for bed,' said his father, slowly pushing himself up from the leather chair with a loud creak. Remus reluctantly put down the book before his two parents began to escort him to his room. He had just started up the stairs when he had the sudden urge to turn around and somehow gain back some of his pride.

'Um…you don't need to take me up. I'm not a baby. I can do it myself,' Remus stated unsurely.

'What?' his mother asked, giving a strange sidelong look to her husband.

'I'm six now. I- I want to go to bed by myself. I'm not a baby,' Remus said again, a sick feeling of guilt niggling at him as he glanced at his mother's less than happy expression.

'Well, if that's what you want…' his mother said hesitantly.

'It is,' Remus affirmed in as brave a fashion he could manage.

'If that's what the independent lad asks for, that is what he shall receive. Goodnight, Master Remus,' his father said in an almost absurdly formal way before ruffling Remus' sandy locks and giving him a quick hug.

His mother gave him an unreadable look before kissing him on the forehead.

'Don't try to grow up too soon, though,' she smiled before returning to her talk with his father.

Remus bit his lip to keep from crying out something foolish. He knew he had this one moment that he could say 'I've changed my mind,' but for some reason, he refrained.

'Goodnight, then,' he said pitifully before trudging up the stairs in self-inflicted misery. He nervously eyed the eerie hallway and gave an audible gulp. It had never seemed this frightening before. Of course, it didn't help that it was pitch black but for the moonlight shining in through a window at the end of the hall.

Taking a moment to steady his nerves, with his small hand travelling along the wall, he tentatively stepped forward. He could still hear his parents talking, their distant voices carrying up the stairwell. He strained to hear what they were talking about, but couldn't distinguish a word. Giving up on his fruitless attempts to hear them, he took another step forward, finding he knew the hallway much better than he had anticipated. It only took a few more paces before he was feeling confident enough to go at a full-blown walk.

With each step a feeling of sound liberation began to blossom in him. Perhaps he should try to be independent more often. After all, at six years of age, it was a time to be self-sufficient. He had made it halfway down the hallway without incident: a daring accomplishment for a boy of his years.

The one problem with travelling at anything other than a shuffle in the dark is the fact that instead of slowly discovering objects with your sliding foot, you suddenly find them by stumbling over them and coming very close to physical harm, making a number of children's playthings very dangerous. Remus found just how perilous a collection of wooden blocks could be and, after nearly falling headlong into a collection of his mothers potted plants, decided his previous shuffle would get him to his room just as well as walking.

Finally reaching his bedroom, Remus let out a long breath before he changed into his pyjamas and jumped onto his bed. He clambered across his bed to the window and placed his forehead against the cool glass to stare down at his horse. It looked like it was asleep, though it was hard to tell from all the way up here.

Closing his eyes, he could just picture himself riding it, jumping over hedges and creeks and galloping through scorching deserts quite gallantly. He was imagining himself a suit of armour when, with a horrified start, Remus remembered he had yet to find a name for his horse. As hurriedly as he dare in the dark, he made his way towards his bookshelf and grabbed a slate coloured book, before swiftly returning to his bed.

The book was one of his more treasured belongings. It was a book of classic myths his mother had put together, complete with her own water-coloured illustrations. Though the pages weren't as smooth as his other books, and the drawings weren't quite as professional looking, he never grew tired of staring at his mother's paintings and loopy writing. If any book would have a good name, this would be it.

Gently turning the pages, just as his mother had taught him, he found a lovely picture of the moon goddess Diana. She held a bow under the light of a full moon that was a mirror image of the one shining brightly outside. The painting had intricate designs running around it and a deliciously gory picture of a deer being eaten by dogs painted, a bit too small for Remus' tastes, in the corner. It was one of his favourite pages in the books because of that inset.

Turning through the pages he found the inspiration he'd been looking for. In cheerful colours was a team of horses drawing the sun chariot, with a god called Helios at the reigns. His mother had just been reading about him the other day. He tried to remember the story she had told him. Something about a boy trying to do the job of driving the chariot and dying came to mind, but he couldn't remember how. Staring at the horses and then at the god he decide that Helios would be a most excellent name for his horse. Helios: and he'd thought of it all by himself.

As being so terribly clever could make one very thirsty, Remus blindly reached towards his bedside table to grab his glass of water. His mouth frowned a bit as he realised it wasn't there. His mum always put it there for him, but after so much thinking and cleverness, Remus found he was too tired to care.

He quickly raised his quilt and cocooned himself inside. He tried to get comfortable, but found he couldn't. The sheets were all tucked firmly into the mattress, making him feel almost entrapped by them. He'd never had this problem when his mother tucked him in. He was beginning to miss her bedtime stories as well. Her nighttime kiss on his forehead was much nicer when he had been tucked in and read to. And he was starting to get awfully thirsty.

With a sudden burst of motion, Remus threw the covers off of him and padded down the hallway to the stairs. His parents were still talking, of all the silly things to do when their son was braving death and dehydration. Standing expectantly on the bottom stair, but still not gaining any attention, he cleared his throat and declared rather loudly:

'I've got a name for Horse.'

Both his parents were startled out of their conversation and turned to him.

'Oh?' his father asked, sharing a slightly amused look with his wife.

'It's Helios, after that god who drove the sun wagon. The one you were telling me about the other day, Mum.'

'Well that sounds like a lovely name,' his mother smiled benignly.

'Yes. Well, goodnight,' Remus said, not moving an inch. 'Mum? You can continue to tuck me in and give me a glass of water, if you want. It wouldn't bother me.'

'Would you like me to do that now?' she asked in a would-be nonchalant manner.

'Yes!' he said, looking startled at his own outburst. 'That is, if you want to.'

'I'd be more than happy to,' she placated, a wide smile gracing her lips as she rose from her seat. Remus gently placed his hand in hers as they walked down the wooden hallway. For some reason, it didn't seem as intimidating as it had earlier.

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**Author's notes:**

Reviews are always appreciated. Also, there's no way for me to know if anyone is actually reading it if you don't review. ;)

Thank you, Silver Trinity, for being my one and only reviewer thus far. Sorry for not updating sooner. Hope you found this new chapter satisfactory. :)

-cambryn


	3. Chapter 3: The Clock Chimes

**Author's note**: Just to warn you, the following chapter is a little violent.

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference

- Reinhold Niebuhr

**The Wisdom to Know the Difference**

**Chapter Three: The Clock Chimes**

Remus had woken up long before sunrise, which was not at all unusual for him. He often liked to stare at the moon as the sky's colour subtlety began to change from its midnight blue to a hazy orange, the full orb slowly fading away into nothingness.

As his gaze fell to the tree in the yard he began to feel a great sense of anticipation, remembering how Helios was there, just waiting to be ridden, talked to and brushed. Remus' excitement grew until he could no longer stand to simply sit on his bed. He could at least wait down stairs. Peering into the hallway he noted how his mother had picked up his blocks, making the path down the hall a much safer route than it had been the night before. He silently padded down the stairs and crawled into the large chair of his father's to read as he waited for his parents to wake up.

As he slowly read a particularly menacing account from the book _When Dragons Attack, _the grandfather clock next to the stairwell began to chime. The normally docile tones sounded rather menacing as they echoed in the silent hall. It took him some time to figure out what time it was (counting in fives was difficult) but after a moment of staring at the clock and counting on his hand, Remus realised it was about five thirty in the morning. His parents wouldn't be up for another hour at least. An hour isn't all that long to wait, unless you desperately want to do something. It took little time for him to recognize that interminably waiting was out of the question. He could go out, play with the horse for a bit, and then come back inside without anyone being the wiser.

Remus felt the terrible chill of the outdoors as he opened the door. It let out a vociferous creek, but thankfully it didn't seem to disturb his parents. He grabbed a nearby scarf and jacket from the coat rack and quickly made his way towards the tree where he spotted the horse nibbling at a spot of grass. He gently stroked the nose of his horse as he murmured to it:

'Hey there, boy. I found a name for you. Hope you like it. It's Helios. It's after a god that drove the sun with a wagon of horses.' The horse didn't seem to outwardly disapprove of the name, which brought a broad smile to Remus' face. He began to think himself to be quite clever, as any person would, had they accomplished the feats he had. Coming up with such perfect names and sneaking out of the house unnoticed were not easy, after all.

'I _knew_ you'd like it,' beamed Remus. A sudden gust of wind blew past his ear, making him nearly stumble with surprise. 'I think it's time for me to go back inside. I'll be sure to bring you a better blanket for nighttimes. There's one in the-'

The horse suddenly jumped a bit and brayed rather loudly, startling Remus enough to let out a small yelp.

'What's the matter, boy?' Remus asked, trying to stay calm as the horse started to rear on its hind legs. He looked about for any sign of what could be distressing the animal, but couldn't see a thing. Remus grabbed the rough rope, trying to placate the animal, which was looking about wildly as it let out louder, more startled whinnies. 'Shh! You're going to get us found out and then I'll be in trouble! Shh! Helios!'

Suddenly Remus heard a horrible snarling noise behind him. He whipped around to see the largest and most fearsome looking creature he'd ever seen. It looked somewhat like the wolves he'd seen in his books, but its eyes glowed with an unnaturally terrible light as it snarled at him, revealing its long sharp fangs that glistened in the moonlight.

Remus froze in terror seeing the large thing as it slowly and menacingly made its way towards him. His father had once told him it was best not to run or most animals would pursue you, so he moved as slowly as he dared, backing his way towards the house. By his estimates, he must have been halfway to the house. Only twenty yards or so, and he'd be safe in his house and his dad would get rid of whatever the thing was. Twelve yards…

Without warning, the creature let out a bloodcurdling howl that made Remus come to a sudden realisation: that thing was no ordinary wolf; it was a werewolf. As suddenly as it had howled, it let out a frightening snarl and began to run full force at Remus. Remus turned and ran for his house as fast as his small legs would carry him. A light had turned on in the house. His parents would save him.

'DAD!' he cried out as he half sprinted, half tumbled towards the door. He only had a few yards to go when he let out a scream of anguish as he felt a stabbing in shoulder and was dragged to the ground with brutal force. The wolf savagely tore through his flesh and shook Remus with such vigour he thought he'd snap in two.

He could see his blood splattered on the ground. His eyes closed as he prayed someone would make it stop. 'Dad…Mum…' he murmured with half closed eyes as the creature let out a sudden shriek of pain and let go of him. The snarling of the beast was slowly drowned out by the hammering of his own heartbeat.

He felt himself being cradled by someone. He saw another person brandishing a fiery wand at the creature. The wolf had started to jerk oddly on the ground, as if in pain. He closed his eyes again as the beating in his ears seemed to intensify, making his head throb in pain. The wolf had its back arched unnaturally and cried out. Its limbs were bending and stretching and its face was contractingHis heartbeat seemed to slow, and the pounding in his ears slowly ceased.

Remus heard his mother sobbing as she clutched him to her chest. His shoulder burned with such a stabbing pain, he thought he'd throw up.

Where the wolf had been, there was now a naked man who was shaking, looking ashen and weak. The man's back convulsed weirdly and made an unnatural sound of breaking bones as he clutched his sides with claw like hands. His eyes were shut tight and his face was covered in blood. His twitching eyes suddenly opened to reveal the most haunting stare Remus had ever seen. The bloodshot eyes were yellow, like the wolf's, but held a horror that was entirely human.

'Oh God…' the man uttered quietly upon seeing Remus. Grabbing his head and curling up where he lay he started shaking worse than before and began sobbing, making a horrid retching sound. 'Oh God…'

**Author's Notes:**

Reviews are always appreciated. Also, there's no way for me to know if anyone is actually reading it if you don't review. ;)

Thank you to thiefofblueness, Miss Anonymous hp and, of course, Silver Trinity, who took the time to review. It really does spur me on to write more. Chapter four is still going through the revising process.

Regards!

-Cambryn


	4. Chapter 4: Meeting Mr Tapling

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference

- Reinhold Niebuhr

The Wisdom to Know the Differnce Chapter Four: Meeting Mr Tapling 

It was the strange, pungent odour that first led Remus to realise he wasn't in his room. The sheets weren't as soft, the bed was much harder.

As he opened his eyes it took little time for everything to come into focus. It was all a very sterile white and the bright light from the window was nearly blinding. He looked down to see that his arms and chest were bandaged, and he was wearing some sort of paisley smock.

It took a moment longer for him to recognize his hand was being held by his sleeping mother, whose head was lying on the bed. She looked tired and her hair was in a shockingly untidy state. His father, who was awkwardly propped up in a nearby chair, looked just as worn as his mother. His face was unshaved and his clothes were more rumpled than Remus had ever seen them before.

'Mum?' Remus fairly croaked. In an instant, both his parents were wide awake and hugging him with teary eyes.

'Oh Remus!' his mother started, almost sobbing into his frock, making him feel more overwhelmed than comforted in any way. Her tight grip was almost painful, but she looked so sad he couldn't bring himself to stop her.

'Can I go ride Helios, now?' he hoarsely asked.

He couldn't tell if his mother had let out a small laugh or not, as her barely quelled crying made most sounds indecipherable.

'Not right now,' his father smiled, though his red eyes looked anything but happy.

'Where 'r we?'

'We're at St. Mungo's. It's a rather large hospital in London,' his father replied.

'Oh…' he answered feebly.

A strange silence permeated the room. It wasn't like the comfortable stillness he enjoyed with his parents at night when they read books in the den, or the amiable quiet he shared with his mother as they gardened side by side in her patch of begonias. This silence was uncomfortable and disquieting, as if there was something that everyone needed to say, but couldn't. He had never heard such a silence in his life.

'Remus, would you like some water?' his mother managed to say, as she wiped some tears from her face and tried to act as if nothing was wrong.

'Alright,' Remus answered. His mother held a glass to his lips and he greedily drank down most of its contents. He hadn't realised how much his throat was hurting.

'Can we go home, now?' Remus asked quietly, looking to his father who was pursing his lips in discomfort. His mother responded by starting to cry again. She was quieter than before, but her shoulders were shaking just as hard.

He couldn't remember ever seeing her cry like that. She'd cried when she chopped onions, and when she read some of her books, and she'd cried when Grandpa Thomas had died two years ago, but this was very different than any of those times. She was crying so hard and his father wasn't comforting her at all.

'No. Not yet. You were bitten badly- you still need some time to recover,' his father said haltingly, with no hint of happiness, only a sad weariness.

They were both acting so strangely it frightened him. Were they mad at him? What was wrong? Did they even want him anymore? They weren't talking with him. They were paying attention to him, but it wasn't like the usual attention. Nothing was right anymore, nothing at all. Suddenly, Remus realised why things were so strange. A sense of panic grew in his chest.

'I'm sorry I snuck out of the house. I knew I shouldn't. I knew it. I k-knew it,' Remus started sobbing, unbidden tears rolling down his cheeks.

'You told me not to go out at night alone b-before, I know. I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry! Please stop being mad. I d-didn't mean to make you so ma-ad,' Remus tried to stifle his sobs, but couldn't. His parents had both surrounded him in a tight hug, and he continued to cry into his father's shoulder.

'Remus, we're not mad with you. How could you ever think that?' his mother asked him, firmly kissing the top of Remus' shaking head. 'We love you very much.'

'No matter what,' his father said, almost fiercely, with tears in his eyes as he hugged him. 'No matter what, because you're our son, and nothing will change that. Nothing.'

They sat huddled together in silence, but now it was comforting. All their tears were just beginning to stop, and their breathing was returning to normal.

'I need a tissue,' he sniffled, and both his parents began to laugh the warm laughs that he'd heard before.

'I think we're all in need of one,' his father grinned as he conjured some handkerchiefs for them to use.

Just then the door opened, and a man Remus had never seen before stuck his head into the room. He did not appear agreeable in any way. His thinning hair reminded Remus of the steel wool he'd seen his mother use to scrub a particularly dirty pan. His eyes were dark and beady, and his face was both grotesquely fat and red. The man's face held nothing but disdain and unpleasantness, and his expression was so sour he looked as if he were suffering from a permanent case of indigestion.

'You are the Lupins, correct?' he asked, slightly out of breath. The fat man's second chin wobbled whenever he talked, and he looked as if he sweated more than other people.

'We are,' Remus' father said a bit cautiously, as he rose to properly greet the man. 'I'm John, this is my wife, Linda, and my son, Remus.'

'Yes,' the man said in an unctuous voice, as he wiped his brow with a chartreuse handkerchief. 'There are some matters that need discussing. I am Mr Maxwell Tapling, from the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, more specifically with the Department for Werewolf Registry.'

'Are you here to talk about the werewolf that attacked Remus?' his mother asked unsurely. The man gave her a withering look before setting his briefcase down on a desk and opened it to reveal a large amount of papers.

'I, Madam, am here to discuss many _things_,' he said sententiously, continuing with his silent shuffling through the papers for a good period of time. Remus thought it odd that he claimed he'd be discussing many things, but hadn't talked about anything at all.

'Forgive me for being forward, Mr Tapling, but could you please be prompt. We've all had a very trying few days and our nerves are very frayed,' John asked with as much decorum as one could ever muster with such a man.

'_Do_ not _rush_ me,' Tapling said authoritatively, wiping his face again with the lurid cloth. '_Now_, at approximately five forty-five am, on the 3rd of October, Remus John Lupin was bitten on his right shoulder, and subsequently infected by werewolf 96732, correct?'

'What is the man's name?' Remus heard his mother ask.

'His name, not that it particularly matters, is…' Tapling had to shuffle through many papers to find the name of the man. Remus supposed they didn't have it written in very many places. 'Bevan Teague McDermott. You can be assured that we've confined the creature in a secure cell. An investigation is taking place to see if the attack was premeditated.'

'I highly doubt it was premeditated,' John began.

'There is a thorough investigation underway that is being conducted by _professionals_. _Your_ suppositions will not serve to change the outcome of this investigation in any way.'

'It couldn't have been premeditated. There's no way he could have known Remus would go out. It's ridiculous,' John said, a look of disbelief on his face. Remus didn't know what premeditated was, but he knew better than to ask now.

'The man was beside himself with grief,' Linda stated quietly, anxiously wringing her white handkerchief.

'_Be that as it may,_ the investigation is in progress,' Mr Tapling said in a manner that held no room for argument. 'The account of the events on October the third is all in order?'

'Uh- Yes,' answered John.

'Here are his registration forms that you need to have filled out and returned to my office within five days. His ID number is 10642. Remember that number; you'll need to fill it in on all but three pages of the forms. You are probably unaware of what all the bite entails,' Mr Tapling said in a hollow, all-business tone.

'First of all, there is no cure for the bite. There is nothing on record that can alleviate any of its symptoms, such as the transformation itself, the pain of the transformation, or the bloodlust of the transformed beast for human prey. Upon every full moon, he _will _transform. Your son is a dark creature now. _He_,' Mr Tapling said, giving Remus a look of barely hidden disgust, 'will have all of those symptoms. If you are determined to keep werewolf 10642 in your custody, you will need to find a secure habitat to keep the creature from attacking any victims.'

'Our _son's_ name is Remus, Mr Tapling. Please address him by his _name_,' John said, his teeth gritted, but Mr Tapling went on, as if he hadn't spoken:

'A representative, either from the W.S.S. (the Werewolf Support Services) or my office will come to your home to see if you have a secure environment for the creature. When a werewolf is confined, it tends to turn to self-mutilation in order to slate its thirst to attack. Some have sufficiently injured themselves to the point of death and-'

'Mr Tapling, I don't think this sort of talk is appropriate for Remus to hear,' Linda said as she tightly grasped Remus' hand. Remus didn't really understand what Mr Tapling was talking about, but none of it sounded good.

'Could we continue this discussion out in the hallway?'

'No. It is of vital importance that he understand the repercussions of his injury, and more importantly, it is clearly stated in the law that he must be informed of all this by an official from the Werewolf Registry.'

'But he's only a child,' Linda protested, standing at eye level with the man.

'Madam, with you being a non-magic citizen, I can understand that you do not fully understand the laws of our wizarding community, but you _must_ abide by them.'

She had a look that promised an argument, but John placed a staying hand on her arm.

'Fine,' he sighed, though his scowl didn't leave his face. 'Continue.'

Taking a moment to clear his throat in his kerchief, Mr Tapling did just that.

'The injuries obviously result in the need for medical care, which can be rather expensive if no one in your household is medically trained. Also, you'll find that many institutions do not treat werewolves, which makes it even more difficult. The W.S.S. can provide some monetary assistance, but it is not a very large sum of money. If you don't have the means to provide him with medical care and a secure habitat, know that the Werewolf Capture Unit, or W.C.U., can dispose of the creature for you.'

At this statement, both his parents' eyes went wide, but they remained speechless, their faces wore identical masks of horror.

'The form for that is on page…twenty-six. I would fill it out if I were you. You all will suffer for it if you don't,' Mr Tapling said in tired way.

'Mr Tapling, it's time you left,' John said, his voice a barely contained growl.

'I have yet to read you all the laws and bi-laws, Sir, and if I don't. a representative from the ministry will be sent to discuss your indiscrete breaking of the law and monetary fine you will have to pay for breaking it,' he replied superiorly.

'Damn the laws! I will not have my boy listen to your prattle one instant longer!'

'He might _look_ like your boy, but upon closer inspection you will find that your eye is deceived. That dark creature on the bed is no boy.'

'How _dare _you!' Linda cried angrily.

'You have never seen a werewolf in its full fury, I have. To willingly keep that _thing_ in your household is lunacy' Mr Tapling said calmly, with narrowed eyes and a knowing bitter smile.

'Get out of this room!' With that having been roared rather loudly, John ripped the required forms out of Mr Tapling's hands and pushed him out of the room, throwing the paper laden briefcase out behind him, and slamming the door so hard, the walls shook. Remus shrunk back into his mattress.

'The Ministry will hear of this!' Mr Tapling called through the door.

'I'm sure they will as I'll be _telling them about it_!' John yelled back through the door.

For a few moments, the only noises in the room were the unsteady breaths of Mr Lupin and some stray papers of Mr Tapling's being blown about the room.

Remus had never, in all his life, seen his father conduct himself in such a way. He decided there and then that he never wanted to give him a reason to be angry with him.

'Well, I think you told him, alright,' Remus' mother said with a bewildered look on her face.

'That pompous, fat idiot… Next time I see him he'll be sprouting another knob out of his face,' he growled, sitting in a chair rather angrily.

'John,' she said warningly, giving him a glass of water before dropping into her seat with a sigh. They both sat in agitated silence.

'You don't want to get rid of me, do you?' Remus suddenly asked in a small quivering voice, slowly drawing his knees to his chest. He hoped they wouldn't say yes with all his heart, but didn't dare to look at them for fear of seeing their disgust.

'Of course we don't want to get rid of you,' his mother said kindly, holding both of Remus' arms and looking him in the eyes before wrapping him in a warm hug. 'You're our _son_. We _love_ you and wouldn't ever do anything to harm you, _ever._'

'But I'm a- a dark creature now. Tapling said so,' Remus said, rubbing at his eyes.

'Don't think it for a second. You are the same person you've always been,' his father said quietly, placing a hand on top of his son's.

'We'll always love you and care for you. You're stuck with us for life, laddie,' his father said with a small smile, ruffling Remus' hair, making Remus smile for the first time since he'd become a werewolf.

Author's note:

Reviews are always appreciated. Also, there's no way for me to know if anyone is actually reading it if you don't review. ;)

Thank you Ms Anonymous hp, Cam, SilverTrinity and thiefofblueness for your kind reviews. They each mean a bunch to me:)


	5. Chapter 5: The WSS

_God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference_

_- Reinhold Niebuhr_

**The Wisdom to Know the Difference **

**Chapter Five: The W.S.S.**

It was a crisp autumn day outside. The grey sky and cool air promised an afternoon shower. It would be perfect weather to curl up by the fireside and drink hot cocoa. At least, that's what Remus would have liked to think as he stared out the single hospital window. He could just barely make out a piece of the sky over all of the tall buildings.

It had been three excruciatingly long days in the "Dangerous" Dai Lewellen ward for serious bites, and Remus could barely stand another. The nurses made sure that he was quite confined to the bed, the brutes. Both of them were extremely unpleasant in their own unique ways. Mrs Angley was at least honest about it, with her gruff and churlish nature, but Mrs Lacess was so obliquely pleasant Remus found her to be the harder of the two to bear. She would be overbearingly nice when force-feeding him vile potions that Remus couldn't find it in him to trust her large smile anymore. Twice upon saying 'it tastes like rum punch' she'd been lying. It tasted like boiled toad (well, at least he imagined it did, as he'd never actually eaten boiled toad.)

'Good afternoon, Mr Lupin,' a deep voice said rather briskly, as a large woman backed into his room, dragging a cart in with a tray of food and a great bottle of swamp coloured liquid.

'Oh no…' Remus said as she parked the cart next to his bed. 'Is this that same stuff Lacess gave me yesterday?'

'Yes i' tis,' the boorish woman replied in her disturbingly bass voice.

'Do I _have_ to take it?' he asked giving her what he hoped was a very endearing look. It didn't take a mind reader to realize this tactic would not soften the heart of this acrimonious woman. The look Mrs Angley gave him was so ugly he wondered how she had ever managed to become a Mrs in the first place.

Without further complaint he took the two spoonfuls of the vile liquid Angley proffered him and tried not to gag.

"Did you see my mum or dad out there?" he asked as she set down his food onto the odd hospital bed table and pushed it in front of him.

"No."

"Oh…" Remus replied, trying not to sound too disappointed. His parents hadn't been able to make it back to the hospital all day. They had said something about 'making arrangements for the moon' at the house, but he didn't really know what that meant. All he knew was that the hospital served dinner too early, the medicine made his stomach queasy and he was incredibly lonely as there were no other patients in his ward.

Just then there came an unexpected knock at the ward door. He felt his heart leap at the hope it was one of his parents. Unfortunately the door opened to reveal neither his mother nor his father. It revealed yet _another_ complete stranger. Remus didn't know how many more introductions he would deal with.

She was a waif of a woman, with large doe-like brown eyes, and straggly reddish-brown hair.

"Remus Lupin?" she smiled with a slight quiver in her voice.

"Ya aren't allowed in here, missy, without the proper papers havin' been filled out," Angley fairly barked at the thin woman, putting her fists on her large hips.

"They ha-ave. I'm with the- the W.S.S.," the young woman said, unsurely, her eyes widened with alarm.

"Huh," Angley sniffed. "Well stop hoverin' and get in already."

The slight woman promptly entered the room and made herself busy with looking at a nice arrangement of flowers Remus' mother had cut for him the previous day. An awkward silence had descended upon them as Remus and Angley both stared at the woman.

"Just who are ya anyways?" Angley asked gruffly, eyeing her with suspicion.

"Oh, you- you must think I'm awf- well, I'm not normally this… I'm Elinor Dunlan. It's my first time you see, and I'm not quite used to being the one t-to-"

Angley didn't seem to care enough to hear all of what the woman had to say, as she promptly brought the conversation to halt.

"Right. Mr Lupin, if you need me to stop certain people from gabbing, just call. I'll be back in half an hour for your tray." And with that she left, not before giving Dunlan a warning glare.

"Lovely flowers you have here, Remus," she sighed, looking a bit less flustered.

"My mum brought them from her garden for me," Remus replied with a small smile.

"That was very nice of her."

"She's always nice," Remus said, grabbing a fork and starting to lie into the potatoes. He was reaching for his milk when he noticed she was staring at him with an odd sort of look on her face.

"Do you want some?" Remus asked, pointing to his beef filet. She found this terribly amusing, for some reason, and began to titter.

"No, thank you," she smiled at him, but her smile didn't last very long. Again the same indecipherable look settled upon her face, making Remus feel very ill at ease as he awkwardly handled the overly large flatware to cut his beef filet. After a few more tedious minutes of her looks and his failed attempts to cut bites of filet for himself, he gave up and put his severing instruments aside, staring longingly at his filet that had remained uneaten.

"Um, do you- Do you need help cutting your filet?" she asked.

"Ok," Remus replied reluctantly. He would have preferred to be alone.

She cut through the tough filet with ease and made all of the bites small enough for him, before handing the fork over to him and placing the knife on the bedside table. Even though he desperately wanted to be alone, he couldn't help but feel grateful to be able to sate his appetite.

He made a quick job of eating the entire contents of his plate, more to keep himself busy during the uncomfortable silence than because he was particularly hungry. Long after he had finished, she just sat there, staring at him as she wrung her hands in a nervous fashion.

He would have loved to yell at Ms Elinor Dunlan if it weren't for the fact that his mother would greatly disapprove of it, and Dunlan would probably go into stuttering hysterics at a sudden outburst, considering her earlier behaviour. He began debating what to do. If he were to ask her 'what do you want?' he was sure his mum would think it rude… but sitting there in silence was so gratingly awkward there was no other course of action he could take.

"Ms Dunlan?-"

"Elinor will do."

"Ok… do you want something?"

"Yes, yes. Sorry, it's just, I'm not quite sure how to say- well, you're very young after all, and I want- well, I don't want to say anything t-to confuse or alarm you."

"Well, why are you here?" he said this very slowly, so as not to confuse or alarm her. Remus couldn't take much more of this. He had no idea what it was that she wanted to talk about, but he had never known any adult to be so incapable of stringing a coherent sentence together.

"I'm with the W.S.S…" she gave him time for this to sink in. Unfortunately, he had no idea what those three letters stood for, and it was blatantly apparent by his bemused expression.

"The uh, the Werewolf Support Services…" she said this at almost a whisper, as if it were some shameful secret, though there was no one present.

"Oh…" Remus replied, looking downward at his plate. He had almost forgotten he was a werewolf. It was quite easy to forget. He felt no different than before, other than the slight twinges of pain where he'd been bitten.

"Do you know what that means?"

"You support werewolves?" Remus shrugged.

"That's right," she said with a smile.

Elinor seemed friendly enough, but Remus had no idea how this woman could support the weight of a particularly heavy book bag, much less a werewolf.

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Carry them… us… We're real dangerous. How do you do it without getting bitten?" he said as he watched the condensation on his glass slowly roll down its side.

"Oh no. Not _that_ kind of support," she said, looking torn between amusement and sadness. "No- no, we are there to, well, give aid. You know, advice. Tell you all about what happens when you, uh, transform into a werewolf, so there won't be any surprises. Remus, do you know very much about werewolves?"

Remus shook his head. He actually knew a great deal about them, and was surprised to find himself shaking his head 'no.' Talking about it didn't seem like a very good idea. He didn't want to think about the attack, or what the werewolf had looked like after he transformed back.

"Well, you know what happens to werewolves on the full moon, right?"

"We turn into…"

"A werewolf, yes, but when you're transformed, you won't- you won't know _who_ you are. You'll only know that you want to bite someone. It's _very _important that on the night of the full moon you are in a place where you can't bite anyone, or they would become a werewolf. Do you understand?"

He silently nodded.

"I've been to your house today- that's why your parents aren't here right now. We've been putting up a shed of sorts on your land so that when you transform you can't bite anyone. There are lots of protective spells to keep you in there, so there's no problem there."

"How'd the other werewolf get out?" he asked, suddenly raising his head, and causing Elinor to jump a bit at the abruptness of the question.

"Other werewolf?"

"The one that- that bit me," Remus said, trying to keep his voice steady.

"The spells to keep werewolves safely locked away don't do much good if the werewolf isn't there when the moon is rising," she said a bit agitatedly.

"He wasn't there?"

"Um, no. He wasn't," she said looking as if she was holding back some prevalent information.

"Why?"

"It- it doesn't really matter why. He wasn't there, and that's- that's all you need to know." She tried to say this with authority, but only ended up looking as if she'd show signs of being ill at any moment.

Angley entered the room a few moments later to take his tray, her usual frown fixed on her face. Neither Angley nor Elinor said anything to each other. Angley gave her a glare as Elinor nervously stared at the floor and proffered the knife. Muttering something about hating mice, Angley grabbed the utensil and hastily left, letting Elinor have the opportunity to let out a breath she'd been holding since the unpleasant nurse had entered the room.

"Remus, I, uh, need to tell you more. Are you up to that?"

He nodded as his hands started to wring the sheets.

"I'm going to try and be as straightforward as I can…Transforming, well, it isn't easy. Your- your bones and muscles and everything change when the full moon rises, and it hurts… quite a lot. There isn't anything we know of that can change it. Do you understand what I mean?"

He nodded again.

"You'll also scratch and bite yourself, most likely. Supposedly the more stress you're under the more violent you get, so we're going to try and keep things going as smoothly as they can for you. You'll need to try and keep yourself calm and not overwork yourself, both physically and emotionally before the full moon. You understand?"

Remus felt his head nod on its own accord.

"We're working out who will take care of your injuries afterwards. They, they say the first transformation's always the hardest and-"

"I don't want to talk anymore," Remus whispered as he stared at the sheets, tears forming in his eyes. "I don't want… I just- I don't…"

"That's fine. I understand," she said, bowing her head.

"NO!" Remus suddenly yelled, surprising even himself. "No… I'm- You don't!"

Without any forethought he jumped from the bed and ran down the hallway, furiously scrubbing at his eyes. He heard some people yelling at him, but it just spurred him on to run faster. No one would ever understand: ever. He had to get away; he just had to. There were people talking about it now. He could hear them. Did they know? Who all knew? Could everyone tell what he was? He was skidding around the corner when he ran into a sturdy body. He was about to run past it when he heard it call out:

"Remus?"

He looked up to see his father looking very bewildered as he stared down at Remus.

"What are you doing out here, lad?" John asked, kneeling down to look him in the eye. Remus couldn't make himself look up. "You don't have to talk about it."

Remus shook his head, looking at the floor. His father stared at him for a moment before picking Remus up and carrying him down the hall. He laid his head upon his father's shoulder and could feel the fabric rough against his cheek.

"But if you ever want to, you can."

Remus shook his head and silently swore he would never talk about it to anyone.

A/N:Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. I tend to be quite nerous about my writing skills and the support really helps me have the confidence to write more and post it.


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